The Weight of Being a Decent Human in America

The impact of this past week on my soul has been far deeper, broader and even more triggering than I could have ever imagined.

I think there is a child-like, romantic heart that resides in my chest. I still want to believe that people are mostly good, that good will triumph over evil, and love conquers all. Maybe that is also why I have been a Disney junkie my whole life. I don’t believe in Prince Charmings or Happily Ever After, I mean I’m romantic but not an ignorant fool. Yet I have believed that I lived in a country that would not sell out. That we had the proper checks and balances to catch corruption, hold the guilty accountable and lived in reality. I have believed that those in power couldn’t blatantly lie to our faces and no one is ever held accountable for having no integrity and being deceitful.

I’m hurt. I’m angry. I’m appalled. Yet I fear the resignation and looming horror of moving back in time instead of forward.

Here is something I can say, under oath, under penalty of a felony, I have never assaulted someone. Ever. Not physically, not sexually, not at all. I have been hit before and did not even raise my hand. I have been harmed, abused and misused, but I haven’t harmed anyone. It’s not that hard to avoid attacking someone! My educational successes, my resume, my career, my other interests or successes have ZERO to do with attacking someone or not! There shouldn’t be a pass for mean, selfish, spoiled, old white guys.

Who are we? What do we stand for? Do we see our collective selves accurately in the mirror and can we sleep with who we are? I say no. We are not who we should be. We are supposed to be a melting pot. We are supposed to love our neighbor. We are supposed to protect the least of us. We are supposed to rise to a higher ethic. We need to stand up, united together against injustice, lies, abuse, corruption, fear, and hate. My heart kneels with every athlete that quietly and respectfully exercises their right to protest police brutality against black men. My heart weeps for every person who doesn’t feel safe enough to voice their sexual assault truth. My heart is livid at the rich, spoiled white guys who can and do BUY what they want, even when it’s not for sale and totally and disgustingly unethical.

I’m disheartened that this is the culture I must leave my children in someday.

You have a right to speak your truth. You have a right to feel safe. We can’t pursue life, liberty, and happiness if by doing so we tread on the life, liberty, and happiness of our fellow children of God.

It’s not that hard to stop a second and hold yourself to a higher standard. Our cultural, collective soul is in jeopardy. We must unite in extending love, light, justice and kindness. We must, or I fear we are doomed.